


and the world he explores

by rainintheplain (crystallizedcherry)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drabbles, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 5,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23116087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystallizedcherry/pseuds/rainintheplain
Summary: from a small flower shop to a daily life of a painter; taeyong saw from many eyes and thought with more mindsets.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	1. war.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: one.

•••

:: kim dongyoung.

this person had the best smile ever; taeyong knew him on a regular evening when he strolled around the uptown stores, and he found doyoung's flower shop. he was having his best day, arranging white peonies and red roses and tiny baby's breath.

love is a war; that was what doyoung said after he handled a bouquet of fresh red roses to one of his customer when taeyong was there, the nth meeting of them both. taeyong just tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. what, why, he asked simultaneously.

because it is a battle of emotions, a storm of mixed feelings and magical surprises that initally were not part of your plan, doyoung shrugged. and i lost it. my biggest war, he said after.

“you just broke up?”

doyoung just nodded.

“and how did you cope with that?”

“preparing myself for another war,” he giggled. “i love surprises. so, i'm ready for another war.”

taeyong was too surprised by doyoung's perspective. nah, the outside world was not that scary, after all. he loved to find out things; and here he was.


	2. thrive.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: two.

•••

:: liu yangyang.

sometimes taeyong was surprised himself that he could see more than he thought.

that was one day, he was the last on the queue at five in the afternoon, and the café was rather quiet after the rushes. he took his time to choose the menu, and that cute young barista offered him some special assortments that day.

his cute dialect attracted taeyong, he could hold his smile listening how that barista spelled some korean words to it. he knew that this cute boy was foreigner, but he didn't ask.

“your smile is cute,” the barista commented while also smiling, but then taeyong noticed something in the boy's wrist.

“yeah, i like your watch,” taeyong complimented, and to his surprise, the barista looked quite panicked, and suddenly lowered his hand while muttered oh god i forgot to take this thing off.

taeyong knew it, he had some knowledge of rare fashion stuffs and of course the price.

they became friends after that, because taeyong quickly realized that he was rather fond of the café's cake and cappuccino. his name was yangyang, and currently on his second year of college. taeyong could quickly tell that he was not an ordinary people. he studied the major with high specialty, the job offer was rare. one could easily tell that he's of course not studying for the jobs, it was for passion that only some privileged people, who did not have to think about paying for basic living needs, could afford.

yangyang was a cute passionate boy, not just your ordinary afternoon barista who was positioned in frontline to attract female customers. he was bright, positive, he was properly well-mannered, a proof that he was raised in good household.

“and you choose this part-time job while you could be laying on your bed, having fun in whatever ways you want?” taeyong carefully asked, after yangyang accidentally spilled out that his parents visited him, flying their way from london to seoul with private jet just because he said he had a short fever two days ago.

yangyang gave him a simple smile, “just because i am from a family with that sort of back story ... doesn't mean that i have to lay low, right? i want to fight too, in my own way. because life is a mysterious one-way lane, taeyong-hyung.”

“you want to do it your way.” taeyong nodded. “makes sense. you are so mature.”

“ah, don't mention that. my parents give me freedom, and i'm just trying to live my life this way. i want to shape my own life. because living while people see you as 'who your parents are', is troublesome.”

taeyong stared at yangyang's pure eyes. he was genuine. taeyong did not expect such thoughts from a young man like this person.

people were just amazing; thousands back stories sometimes being molded into some generalization that could not always be wise. humans were unique, similar back stories sometimes did not result the same.


	3. burn.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: three.

•••

:: park jisung.

taeyong knew him in the public library, when he was pacing around the desk taeyong was sitting at just because he couldn't find a certain encyclopedia. it was not that taeyong was bothered, he was just thinking that this boy needed help but couldn't say anything to strangers.

they became friends since then, but taeyong was rarely spending time in public library and it didn't mean that jisung was always there too whenever he had time to visit the place, so they just became regular acquaintances that had been seeing each other on their sns.

jisung sometimes commented on his posts with short words and more kaomojis, that boy easily let taeyong read him. he was still a shy and awkward boy but wanted to befriend with more people. when they met he still lowered his head and gaze often, taeyong knew it had more meaning.

that time taeyong found him fiddle with his fingers more often that he usually did, and refused to look at taeyong's eyes as the latter talked about his lovely dog.

you seem not in a good mood today, taeyong told him in lowered tone. nothing, jisung initially said, but it was not like he could hide.

he gave up, saying, “my brother got higher grades than me.”

“and your parents scolded you?”

“no, not like that!” he quickly shook his head, “they didn't say anything bad ... it's just me ....”

taeyong knew it. to live in another person's shadow, to feel insecure, to feel like we couldn't do enough though we had our knees bleed while fighting on our way. jisung was still so young and already scraped his knees a lot and taeyong couldn't bear it for him.

“no one belittles you, don't do it for yourself.”

“but i'm afraid!”

“afraid that you're not enough?”

“partly, yes, but i just want to prove that i'm not that 'little boy'!”

ah, young people and their burning desire.

“who said that you are that little boy? is that someone inside your head?”

jisung blinked.

“then lay back a little, jisung-ah. it's good to push yourself but don't go too far. don't drain yourself. save that energy for your later adulthood.” taeyong smiled. “don't burn yourself now. you need that little fire later.”


	4. frames.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: four.

•••

:: johnny suh.

he was that enthusiast, positive boy that didn't let the outside world alter him. he was too strong to handle, and maybe his own inside could feel that too. taeyong couldn't believe this childhood friend of him still wanted to be on his side ‘til now while he could walk away wherever he wanted.

johnny was that person who taught him how to smoke, but on the other day he told taeyong that he was doing some bad investment for his future self, and grimaced at some random people who smoke at random places. he was that person who took flights back and forth from chicago to downtown seoul just to play chess with him. he was that person who never laughed out loud but always wholeheartedly. he was that person who smiled to strangers and gave flying kisses to random dogs on the street.

today he purchased his nth airplane miniature from ebay and taeyong had to pinch his own cheek to prove that he was seeing the real numbers johnny just spent with his black card. but johnny was that enthusiastic taeyong couldn't judge him.

“you are still buying this thing?” taeyong commented simply. “your room in chicago is still not full?”

johnny smiled and closed the tab showing that the seller had processed his order. “some dreams fly away but never really disappear.”

taeyong did not forget. taeyong still had their early middle-high school sketches about the future their 20s selves would have had at the bottom of his cupboard. a cockpit for johnny, an F1 circuit for taeyong.

but here they were now. not 11,000 feet up there and speeding up out there.

johnny added, “some dreams are like framed paintings in louvre. pretty to look at; never get out of their frames. ever.”


	5. wrong.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: five.

•••

:: lee jeno.

sometimes he looked like a samoyed he regularly washed whenever taeyong took ruby to that pet daily care, but sometimes he looked like those cats that always eyed taeyong curiously whenever he passed by.

at the first time taeyong thought that lee jeno would never last here. he was shy around strangers and all he could do was smile to the customers and always only nodded his head. less words, more smiles. taeyong thought that jobs related to public appearance did not suit jeno.

but maybe that was just his first days. his first experiences. or maybe his days was wearing him off. later days, his nature proved taeyong wrong. he could easily attract cats and dogs and even make some goldfish in the water surrounding him when he placed himself too close to their tank.

“you are so good with animals.”

“oh, you think so?” jeno just blinked at ruby and ruby jumped off taeyong's lap in no time. he then smiled at ruby, then at taeyong.

taeyong mouthed see and jeno just laughed.

“i fond of them more than some other creatures.”

“are you afraid of humans?” taeyong bravely threw the question into the atmosphere.

“not like that.” jeno scratched ruby's head and the latter was enjoying it a lot. “pets make me feel needed more than some humans do.”

“past experience?”

jeno shrugged. “past thoughts.”

“maybe you met some wrong people in the past.”

“yeah. but never wrong pets.”


	6. bridge.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: six.

•••

:: na jaemin.

he took the best photos. he could capture the best moment of a speed runner, baby steps of a curious kid, raindrops on a bench, and best angle of rainbow.

taeyong could tell because he followed all na jaemin's sns that mostly contained his photographs, from the corner of short alleys in daegu to the business center of seoul; from piazza in rome to an onsen in kyoto.

sometimes they ran into each other in the street, and jaemin recognized taeyong as one of his 'best commenters'. taeyong had a little knowledge about photography, but sometimes he voiced his thoughts through dms to jaemin and jaemin was always open to any words.

taeyong asked jaemin when they accidentally met in a café and they decided to sit at the same table, what was his most favorite shot or the most memorable one. jaemin said that he had some, but eventually showed one that surprised taeyong; a corridor in a hospital.

“this one, i call it bridge.”

“but it is a corridor?”

jaemin smiled. “a bridge of hope.”

taeyong now agreed to his inner self that photographers had their own philosophical, surprising mind.

“some patients could not get off their beds for days, maybe weeks or months. when they could get out of their rooms and see the outside world, even it was just a simple corridor in the hospital, that's the moment when hopes outburst.”

”... you took this yourself, didn't you?”

“yes. i did.”

“personal experience?”

jaemin nodded, proudly, and that was the exact moment taeyong witnessed someone just embracing their old memories without any pain or grimaces or regrets, “yes.”


	7. delicacy.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: seven.

•••

:: kim jungwoo.

taeyong saw him as a bouquet of shy flowers; pink and blushing and low voice like a dance of petals in the beginning of spring. jungwoo and the flowers he sold, he arranged, he offered to the people in love was a distinct color of the city, as he strolled down the uptown stores in regular basis. taeyong attended jungwoo's store's soft opening last year and he immediately attracted to the way jungwoo explained the meaning behind his flowers to new customers.

one day taeyong asked why jungwoo decided to open a flower shop instead of working behind the desk (he was a fresh graduate of computer engineering and taeyong knew it that he was brilliant enough to work in high-class businesses),

and jungwoo answered,

“i'm in love with soft and delicate things. things i couldn't find anywhere but in flowers.”

taeyong really wanted to tell jungwoo that the world was sometimes cruel and he had to be prepared for the storms; taeyong knew this kind of world, kind of life, didn't deserve jungwoo at all. he was too nice too delicate too soft for the evils chasing around people's lives everyday.

but jungwoo was not that innocent, he just smiled reading the doubt in taeyong's eyes,

“i know what you wanted to say.”

taeyong cleared his throat.

“my delicacy is not weak. even heroes have delicacy, too, and i decided to go that way.”


	8. survive.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: eight.

•••

:: nakamoto yuta.

taeyong threw a white towel towards him; and he caught it single-handedly like it was nothing, barely looking at taeyong's direction. yuta wiped his face just once, then draped the cloth on his right shoulder, while taeyong took a place beside him.

it was becoming a habit since nobody knew, taeyong just regularly came to this field and somehow found him either he was cycling, running, playing football, or even skating a few times. he knew yuta long ago, when they were so young and braver than ever and full of beautiful wishes. things changed, but some remained still.

“how was your day?”

yuta just nodded. taeyong understood. “and you?” he asked back in reply.

“nothing special.” taeyong shrugged. “another day of adulthood.”

“all we do is just surviving the day, huh?” yuta chuckled.

“that's life.”

“the world ... the earth, keeps on spinning despite what is happening.” yuta showed no significant changes in his visage, but taeyong knew more than anything. “is this what people in our age realizing on their 20s' days? or is it just us?”

“people change in different ways and time.”

“but us?” yuta made an eye contact. “we are having it together.”

taeyong offered him his hand. “glad to have you.”

“glad to have you too.”

the words echoed in his mind. taeyong and the world he explored: things changed. life cycle remained the same;

to live,

was to survive.


	9. untold.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: nine.

•••

:: qian kun.

he knew various recipes, and taeyong was dared to bet that this chef's handwork was one of the best in the whole world. from turkish kebab to mexican burrito, from vegetable soup to fried rice, qian kun was the best. one day taeyong even invited him to cook in his house and the broth he made was the best in taeyong's entire life.

he always sang to himself while preparing his customer's orders. sometimes he had a blank stare while waiting for his sausage on the pan. he knew various songs from different languages like he knew his recipes; and taeyong always enjoyed sitting near his food truck only to enjoy his song and the aroma.

sometimes he smiled to himself.

sometimes he looked sad.

qian kun was rich of expressiosn. his face in a day could tell a million stories, taeyong knew it.

what was his history? his childhood? his past? taeyong understood some vague things but couldn't describe it.

kun put his order on the table while smiling, and taeyong decided that this was the perfect timing,

“your voice is wonderful. the songs are nice, can you tell me your favorites? i've never heard some.”

“oh, thanks.” kun smiled. “some are self-composed.”

“god, what thing qian kun couldn't do?”

kun chuckled. “many things.”

taeyong stared at his eyes. another million stories. another untold history. taeyong held his breath.

“this,” kun gestured to his surrounding, “is a nice place. nice place to run.”

“run from what?”

kun blinked. “loneliness.”

he was back to his position. receiving orders. cooking. having fun with recipes. singing to himself. smiling to unknown stories. reminiscing with his untold childhood memories. taeyong tilted his head, as if he could take a look through a curtain to the deepest cave of the history of qian kun. but he couldn't find more hints anymore. kun was just like that; standing, giving happiness and memories to people. some said that the best simplest happiness was to eat delicious foods peacefully, and he was giving such things for those who needed that.

people hid histories. sadness. loneliness. untold trauma.

all with giving happiness to people.


	10. shadows.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: ten.

•••

:: chittaphon leechaiyapornkul.

taeyong preferred realism; but ten liked abstract form better. taeyong was far more flexible but ten was too idealist. but taeyong knew, even if ten just threw a ball of paint and it tainted the wall, people would praise it as usual, just like how his gallery attracted from common art patrons to experts. he was just having it in him: something indescribable that taeyong himself lost in his words to depict that. he was an abstract form himself; and ten knew it.

sometimes ten muttered things (taeyong wouldn’t call it nonsense because he was sure it meant something) while doing his art.

sometimes ten sang some random songs.

sometimes ten was staring at taeyong's eyes, losing himself, only to find himself again with new ideas to pour out.

it was hard to learn about ten. he was too deep, too mysterious, too much shadows followed him sometimes taeyong could not find which one the real ten was.

it was an interesting game to ask philosophical questions to ten.

“what are you?”

“me?” ten pointed at himself.

“yeah. you.”

ten just tilted his head at first, raising his pen from the pale white paper. “a life with many shadows.”

“and which shadow is the strongest?”

“i don't know. too many masks. shadows. lifelines. anchors. what do you think?”

“your life ... is tied to many aspects?”

“exactly.” ten pointed his pen at taeyong.

“so which one is the real you?”

“all of them.”

“and that just makes it more difficult to know you.”

ten raised his eyebrows. “for what?”

“i adore you. your life. your art. your way. but i don't know you.”

“i am a world you have to explore, lee taeyong. i am a man with so many shadows following me.”

“it's even harder, ten.”

“men are just like that. we have so many things in us, we have to admit. our one life has a million stories, branched histories, too many experiences. we have a lot of us in us.”

“so then, what are you?”

“thousands of shadows in one canvas.”


	11. mask.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: eleven.

•••

:: dong sicheng.

the last time taeyong saw him was on a play of certain greek hero in modern setting. his acting was always improving; taeyong was always proud of him though they just knew each other for a few months because of a friend.

taeyong found him in the alley after the show, and took winwin for a drink downtown.

winwin was always honest to his feelings, wearing his heart on his sleeve, but sometimes taeyong saw it wonderful that he could act as someone totally new, a whole different person on stage. sometimes taeyong still witnessed winwin's awkward gestures, but it was wonderful that he could polish a perfect characterization of a new person that was watched by hundreds of eyes.

“sometimes it's easier to pretend,” he said through an honest smile to taeyong, “that we could cover the bitter honesty, the true pains ....”

“you are okay with wearing a mask?” taeyong lifted his glass but it stopped near his lips.

“we all are, right? we are a different person depending on whom we are interacting with.”

taeyong nodded. “it was not wrong.”

“so we all are okay with that.” winwin also nodded.


	12. lane.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: twelve.

•••

:: mark lee.

he took off his helmet when taeyong approached him from the sideline. he shook his head; adrenaline painted awe looks on his face, pride was real. mark finished as first, taeyong congratulated him with a fistbump.

taeyong felt like it was still yesterday he knew the little mark who had dreamed of big arena and spectators cheering his name, who pushed himself off the limits, sleep-deprived since young because his papa only allowed him to practice if his grades was at least B.

he grinned to taeyong, a small bit of the young and innocent mark was still there.

taeyong patted his shoulder. “good job.”

“as hardwork never betrays, of course.”

taeyong took him to the sidelines; two cans of beers until it was empty around them. taeyong gazed at the empty circuit and imagined himself in mark's position while riding his motorcycles, aiming at the finish line with determination in his eyes, working his way to the top.

“riding. competing. an escape,” he murmured, but was not unheard by mark, “it feels like an escape, right? you do so many escape missions.”

mark chuckled. “sounds right. i am aware of it, though.”

“how does it feel?” taeyong glanced at him.

“oh, an escape in life is just a cycle. just like this lane. you'll back to the zero. that's how an escape works. you run, but you eventually will get back to it. get back to the start, whether it is a new start or old start. the same. just the same.”

sometimes it was strange to listen to mark. that little mark. his little mark. felt like listening to a cub roaring like a wild lion. he was so small, so young, but running on the certain lanes turned him into an adult in a blink of an eye; his experiences could not lie, but some parts of him were still intact like a young child.

“life is a cycle.”

“you just sounded like narrating a quote from a certain movie to me, hyung.”

“yeah. because you just proved it that indeed life is a movie.”

“and a circular lane. i'm doing a series of competitions that is just like a miniature of a life.”


	13. lifeline.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: thirteen.

•••

:: xiao dejun.

he plucked the guitar string randomly and it still sounded like heaven. he brought a violin today and the audience clapped for him like this was some kind of prestigious philharmonic. taeyong tried to do the same while xiaojun gave him the chance in between his street shows, but eventually he was frustrated, it was just xiaojun's ability and his was like heaven and heart, he said.

“no,” xiaojun said lightly, “it's not really about the talent, taeyong-hyung. it's about hardwork.”

“you are the most hardworker person i've ever known.”

“i'm not special. there are many people like me. a million people are currently doing the hardworks today.”

“but you are ... so are those people .... that makes you all special. it doesn't need to be the only one to be special, xiaojunnie.”

xiaojun just gave him another simple smile. he took his guitar from taeyong's lap with a silent whisper of excuse me, sorry, then he started some random songs, some were stopped midway. some people passed, some stopped, giving xiaojun what he deserved as a passionate part-timer street singer. taeyong closed his eyes and listened to his beautiful voice. to the song unknown; to the lyrics that talked about how love, life, and crowded street were some kind of art, seen from different perspective.

taeyong felt alive.

more alive.

so when he opened his eyes, xiaojun nodded at him. “art is a part of life. some think that this is a lifeline. i can say that art is liveliness.”


	14. battle.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: fourteen.

•••

:: zhong chenle.

taeyong saw him getting on and off a luxurious car, high-end phone and white buds on his ears; but sometimes he was seen somewhere near the bus stop and rushed his way into the bus, sitting alone with an old phone and yellow earphone. taeyong felt like he saw two different boys.

another chance, taeyong saw him on his bicycle, escaping a crowd from that certain prestigious music course building, two blocks from his private school. taeyong knew him, taeyong always observed him, sometimes he waved to him when they ran into each other across the street nearby. chenle was that bright kid, but with an insane schedule like a businessman.

one day taeyong approached him (two books clutched to his chest and a heavy backpack sitting along him on the bench of that bus stop), asked him about his days and whether he had another time for basketball like a few years ago that introduce them to each other.

“no time, hyung. it's been hectic for me, and more to work out ahead.”

taeyong tilted his head. “are you tired?”

chenle held his breath. “things have been pushing me from back and front. i have to seek my own way to stay sane.”

“with what?”

“battling with perfectionism.”

taeyong saw clarity in chenle's eyes.

“how do you do that?”

“like this.” he gestured to his surrounding. the creaked bench, dirty shoes, phone with cracked screen, and some noises from the small group of people who were waiting the same bus with them. “my family tried to give me a polished, perfect environment for me to grow up. it's not bad. it's just me having my own small rebellion; to find out myself that the world works in its certain way, a way not specially made for me, that i have to fit in whatever condition sometimes.”


	15. image.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: fifteen.

•••

:: huang guanheng.

he slid past him when taeyong approached the main attraction of that northern part of the park: the skateboarding arena. he giggled when taeyong waved him a simple hello and a simple smile.

hendery stopped a few meters near, then went back to taeyong and reached for his hand, high-fiving that lingered for a brief second, and did a shoulder-to-shoulder greeting.

“good day?”

“good day,” hendery nodded. “wanna try my new board? designed by the awesome me, of course.”

taeyong nodded. “seems interesting.” he gave a thumb-up. “pretty, too.”

“must be.” hendery patted his shoulder before let him go for the arena.

hendery looked like an ephemeral silhouette when taeyong slid the arena and only looked at him for a few moment; but surely he caught hendery's smile to him. a genuine smile and attractive one; the main thing that left taeyong in confusion because hendery often admitted that he did not have that many friends like taeyong thought he did. it was an unbelieveable fact, taeyong thought; because people like hendery was too genuine to be left out of the flock.

taeyong remembered that once hendery admitted that he was seen as a person who was hard-to-approach, people thought that he was rather cold and serious; taeyong was sure it was just an image in people's mind, and sadly hendery agreed.

he said one day, “image. it is the image. people have that kind of one-sided agreement to themselves about people around them. that can be called image. so, yes, it is me. it is me who has that kind of image.”

taeyong quickly slid off the arena and made his way back to hendery, high-fiving him who already lifted his hand as an instinct.

“this one is good.”

“really?”

“truly liking it.” he patted hendery's back slightly. “thanks for the chance, man.”

“love it that you love it.”

at least, from his side, it was not a self-made conclusion. he liked hendery not in the way people saw him.

oh people and all the conclusions in their mind (taeyong held hendery's hand longer than he should; he showed the way a genuine friend should do).


	16. cost.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: sixteen.

•••

:: jeong yuno.

jaehyun was more than just your average avid-basketball-enthusiast-friend. he could be more than that. he could a national athlete, he could have a flourished career in sport as he excelled not only in one sport; but sometimes taeyong just didn't get him well.

he bounced the ball once, twice, let it escape its way towards the other end of that enclosed field. taeyong followed sight of that ball, he heard vaguely jaehyun let out a heavy sigh.

“another sleepless night?”

another heavy sigh. “kinda.”

he looked at jaehyun in the eyes. “you could do more than that. you could do a lot in basketball.”

“yet i couldn't.” jaehyun shrugged. “sometimes it's too hard to have so many goals at once.”

“people praise you because you do well at many things.”

“they don't know what that costs.”

taeyong couldn't ignore the dark shadow under jaehyun's eyes. a student of two postgraduate major at once, while also trying to adjust into a society his father introduced him to; jaehyun had met a lot of things and also pressures added into it.

“tell me,” taeyong asked calmly, “is it worth the cost?”

jaehyun didn't answer.

“you can run whenever you want.”

“it's not that easy.”

“go easy on yourself, jaehyun-ah.”

“when people expect a lot from you?”

“escape. escape from those sleepless nights yourself. you know how to do that.”

“i've built this world of my own. now you tell me to escape?”

“not like that.”

“it is like that, taeyong-ah.”

it was taeyong's turn to be left in silence.

“sometimes human has to endure more than they think they can do.”


	17. reason.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: seventeen.

•••

:: wong yukhei.

taeyong saw lucas keep going with utmost vigor, cycling through his way further from taeyong after a last familiar salute, promising that they would meet again tomorrow after lunch if there was no other business.

taeyong had forgotten to tell lucas that he read a news about him yesterday as the headline of a sport e-magazine, with a short interview in it. lucas shared all the positivity he could as bright as his smile in that news, resulting in a possibility that people wouldn't understand that he came with blood and tears and sweats all his way to this top position.

lucas said to him one day, a few months before his first international competition when he accidentally ran into taeyong in a café, i almost forgot how to stay sane, i gave my all and the only reason to keep going was the top position in national competition; but then, hyung, i lost.

“your reason to keep going is to be a champion?” taeyong tested him.

“we all have to be a champion in life. otherwise, we won't survive.”

taeyong tilted his head, “then have you ever thought about people who truly enjoy life without trying to climb to the top; while they just like, love to walk along the shore?”

“life is a survival game, right?”

“yes, walking along the shore is also a survival game, but in easier mode. then why don't you reset the game of yours?”

weeks later, they met again, this time taeyong who initiated it. lucas was utterly different from the last time taeyong saw him, he was as bright as the sun; if only it could be brighter.

“hey, hyung, you know something?”

“tell me, then.”

“i've found my reason to keep going.”

“hmm?”

“still a champion.”

“but?”

“not always the champion on the top. but the champion in keep going. champion in hardwork. champion in getting up again even after a million times falling.”


	18. bursts.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: eighteen.

•••

:: huang renjun.

for people who didn't know him; it's hard to tell how a person like huang renjun got really angry. how he was when he was upset. mad. regretted many things. though sometimes he was loud, bold, people couldn’t see how he can be angry more than two seconds. some called his smile was too angelic to be owned by a human.

for taeyong, it was easy.

he would just sit there, in his small studio in his small apartment; solely crowded himself with two or three canvases at one time, painting some abstract arts or something related to open scenery. he would shut his mouth though taeyong was beside him with his favorite drinks or foods. when taeyong finally asked him what's wrong, he answered with a hushed tone, things that made him mad. like when the world acted like he couldn't make it, he couldn't conquer some hindrances, he couldn't change anything anymore.

when he was finally done dealing with his own emotion, he would stare at his paintings in silence, then turned to taeyong and smiled a little.

“thanks, hyung.”

“for what? you can handle everything yourself.”

“for not letting me alone.”

taeyong smiled back. “glad to know that you like my company.”

renjun then stared at his works. “i can deal with my own emotion, a little. but who knows what would i do if i was alone too long while battling with it?”

taeyong stared at renjun's paintings. he could not interpret anything; but what he knew that there are million stories lingered there as a burst of colors.


	19. sparks.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: nineteen.

•••

:: lee donghyuck.

“what sparks you?”

haechan stopped typing abruptly, a vigorous activity he had been doing since taeyong visited his 'regular' workplace, a café near their favorite arcade game station. he clicked his tongue and smirked a little, “curiosity.”

taeyong blinked. he liked this game of question with haechan; a quest of answers of everyday's little mystery.

“what spark that is most exciting for you?”

“curiosity,” he repeated.

“not love?”

haechan shook his head. “curiosity is the most blasting chemistry.”

“i thought you said you fell in love several times.”

“yes but they are nothing compared to curiosity.” he smiled at his laptop. “that's why i feel so lucky to have a side job that fits my preference.”

“what news are you writing today?”

“ah, just some coverage of locals' favorite foods and beverages and their perspective about nowadays' habit of people who spend times with coffee.”

“hmmm.”

“told you, curiosity is what keeping me alive and kicking. the world is full of unknown things, so i run for them.”


	20. floats.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: twenty.

•••

:: moon taeil.

he brought a cup of coffee and jokingly said that this was his third cup.

“don't drink too much of this, hyung,” taeyong warned taeil. “and you spent most hours of your work sitting down, right? be careful.”

“i'm kidding. this is just the second. barely. i didn't finish my first cup this morning, i was called to a meeting.”

“you were attending a meeting?” taeyong almost clapped. “i see that your career is flourishing. you were immediately recruited after you finished your internship, probably you'll get a promotion soon.”

“i was just assisting someone,” taeil smiled to him, taking a sip of his cold brew. “there's a lot to learn. i'm still adjusting. thanks to coffee, it keeps me to stay sane.”

“why adults always relate business to coffee, huh?”

“it's a culture already. probably some of us think that it is just some self-suggestion ... like, if i don't drink coffee, then i could not get through this.”

“probably it is me.”

“i can tell.”

“and you?”

“i just like it. no particular reason.”

“is it possible to like something without reason?”

taeil nodded. “we think in different ways. sometimes, for me, it is just ... flowing. floating. no ground needed. free thoughts.”


	21. empathize.

lee taeyong and the world he explores: himself.

•••

sometimes he pondered alone;

about what having friends like them taught him,

about how he could learn from them,

about their perspective,

about their views.

he learned to sympathize,

empathize with them.

to see with their eyes.

to think with their mindset.

his mind was colored by so many views and he didn't mind it.


End file.
